That's about how it feels. At least emotionally.
Can't believe I haven't updated this thing since 2013. And while in France. I've neglected it, and I wish I hadn't. I've never been too great about keeping up with a written journal (because I have horrible handwriting and typing is just so much faster), so this seemed to be a better alternative. Sadly, I haven't kept up with it either.
A lot has happened since then. I've grown, but also have yet to change things about myself that could really use changing. Like being able to let things go. 2014 started off great. I even got to see California and two of my best friends. And then things went downhill. Then uphill again in June when I got hired on at a new job after being unemployed for a few months. Then downhill in July. Now, I've been up and down. Life on the personal front has been very good, but also very draining and depressing at the same time. I lost two best friends. I almost lost my relationship. I about lost my mind.
I'm so torn up inside. Not a day goes by where I'm not. I've been contemplating on seeing a counselor for it. Friends can only do and say so much to make you feel better, and while having that support there is incredibly nice, it just can't help the way you want it to sometimes. Maybe a professional would be able to ease my mind.
Maybe one of these days I'll talk about it in more detail here, but I'll leave it for now. 2014 was a year for endings and new beginnings. I've been so thankful for the new beginning with my new job and trying a new outlook on my relationship and bettering it. I'm still looking to put the harsh endings and all the crap that happened behind me.....I've been needing to let things go long before "Frozen" made it a trend.
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